My Story

My name is Janis.

I’m an addict.

The list of my addictions is way too long and embarrassing to even begin to itemize. And how would I organize a list of that size? By severity? Alphabetical? Oldest to newest?

Suffice it to say, the addiction I am willing to shout from the rooftops at this point is that of Binge-Watcher of all shows with more than one season. Watching, spellbound, from the edge of my chair as a myriad of dramatic situations are played out before my eyes.

Do I wish I had the life portrayed? Sometimes.

Do I find it unbelievable that these life-styles even exist? Most assuredly.

Am I glad I’m behind locked doors, under my favorite blanket of naivety; totally protected from anything on the screen? A resounding YES!

I don’t watch every series that’s out there. I do have some principles. Like, I will naturally migrate to, and stay with, a series in which I know, pretty much beyond a shadow of a doubt, which character {or group of characters} is on my side – who has my back. An episode here and there or a plot twist once in a while where they mess with me is acceptable. But when the entire story line is based on who can lie and deceive the best and who can switch allegiance the most and the quickest, just makes me all prickly feeling and I have to bow out and drop the curtain. Those few requirements have shortened the list of available genre to watch but my list of binge-watched accomplishments is still rather remarkable. Add up all the seasons I’ve watched and I’ve probably watched more seasons than I’ve actually lived through.

Not too long ago, however, searching for another parallel life to interject myself into, I almost had myself convinced that my addiction was cured. Every show I started, I quickly rewound out of it; not willing to invest the emotional energy necessary to analyze the characters and their roles and where the plot was likely headed. I pushed the power button and my escape into another world closed. I pulled my blanket over my head and let the darkness of the room wrap  tightly around me and console me for a bit. And then I remembered, I AM A SURVIVOR!!!

Needless to say, in no time at all, I had risen from the gloom and despair and, with some more in-depth searching, I stumbled onto some new stories to feed my addiction. Whoosh!

It’s common knowledge these episodes are written and recorded long before they are ever displayed on the TV screen. The writers are going off of the most current information they have at the time as to whether they are preparing for a season finale or a finale finale. The first will leave you precariously dangling on several cliffs with the challenge of remembering all this a few months from now when the pilot will pick up where you were left. The second, well hopefully, anyway, the second will tie up all the lose ends and leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside knowing all the conflicts and crises and drama has been put to bed. Rest easy. It’s over.

So the two most recent series I was watching ended opposite to what they should have, had the writers and producers and actors and everyone involved been able to foretell the future more accurately. The one show had taped a finale finale and found out a little before that the station had actually approved more seasons. No cliffhanger there. Everything was tied up in a pretty box with a bow on top! The other show was planning on another season and found out in the last minute there would be no more. All the people in that story will be left dangling forever – kinda like those spirits that roam the earth forever looking for their lost finger or lucky rabbit’s foot so they can continue their journey into the next world. Who lived, who died? We’ll never know. Whose baby is crying and where is that smoke coming from? Not a clue. Hmm….

After I picked my chin up off the floor, knowing I would never have closure beyond what my own imagination would conjure up, I had a vision of sorts. In front of my eyes passed the simple title, “My Story”. Which ending would wrap up my series? Will I leave no lose ends, no un-said words, un-hugged hugs, no un-forgiven forgivings? Or will I kick and scream my way to the edge of the cliff, dig my nails into the granite dirt; screaming of the unfairness; wishing I would have known ahead of time?

But, then again, I am the author of this story of mine. Good reminder to keep the ending I want in mind as I deal with all these paragraphs and chapters of the moment.

Certainly given me something to think about. At least until another series crosses my horizons…


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